A.K.A. Turning
Your Georgetown Degree into Something Criminal
by Elizabeth
McCarthy (F'96)
They don't call it "breaking into the business" for nothing. To an outsider with no contacts, Hollywood is a hermetically sealed mega-box of moneymaking fun and potential that only the stealthiest criminal can break into. And once you do break in-then what? The mega-box doesn't pop open to reveal a pot of gold. Inside the Hollywood lock box are little wads of tinfoil that require nothing short of alchemy to turn them into gold.
Unlike most other lines of work, the entertainment industry does not adhere to the same rules of business as other industries-there's no career ladder to climb. Some people take thirty years to achieve success in this business, while others arrive in Hollywood and land the job of their dreams while bagging groceries at Ralph's. The mythology of overnight success exists for a reason: It does occur, albeit rarely, and it is as real a possibility as winning the lottery. Someone has to win that money, right? But, if you're like most people, you won't want to bank your career and future success on a lottery ticket. Instead, you will want to begin your career at the bottom and build your own ladder to the top.
JOINING THE ASSISTANTHOOD
I am amazed at the number of people I have interviewed
over the years-mostly for my own replacement as an assistant-who
put their die-hard love of movies out in front as their
number-one, look-no-further reason that they're perfect
for the job. Just as many writers in LA believe they are
writers because they can hold a pencil, these job seekers
seem to think that their passionate love of movies, or
their clear distinction between good and bad television,
makes them a perfect candidate for almost any job in Hollywood.
This is false. Untrue. Grossly misstated. A passionate
love of entertainment is needed to sustain a
career in Hollywood, but a couple of years learning the
ins and outs of the business is an absolute requirement.
Unfortunately, this applies to everyone, including the
MBAs with five years' work experience. Hollywood does
not discriminate.
Therefore, before you pack your bags and head West, you
should try on the idea of being an assistant. The best
(and only) way to learn about the industry from the inside
is to become someone's assistant. Assistant jobs are a
form of apprenticeship, the method of choice in Hollywood
for passing down trade secrets. Assistants act as their
boss's right arm, doing chores ranging from the inane
(picking up dry cleaning, parking the car, walking the
dog) to the crucial (writing script notes, sending out
scripts, brainstorming on casting ideas). Your family
will think you've lost your mind when you tell them about
your average day at work ("Remind me why you went to college?"),
but in the end the rough parts of the job are more than
smoothed out by the invaluable lessons you will pick up
about your chosen field of work. It is also through being
an assistant that you will likely find a mentor to help
steer you in the right direction. Entertainment and media
are hugely collaborative efforts, and if you show potential
for being a success in this business, people will mentor
you.
There are a handful of general truths about the broadly
used term “assistant” that most people are
unaware of until they land their first job. The first
truth is that accepting an assistant position is like
agreeing to an old-fashioned marriage—on the first
day, you will lose your last name. It just disappears.
You become “Joe in Jane Hoya’s Office,”
and your last name will be “in Jane Hoya’s
Office,” until you change assistant jobs and it
becomes “in Sam Saxa’s Office” for a
few more years. It’s not until you divorce from
the assistant track that you will regain your maiden name
and move forward as a whole person. (Guys, think of this
as a postmodern exercise in understanding what women go
through; then multiply it by ten.)
As an assistant, you will spend an inordinate amount of
time on the phone, oddly reliving your teenage years and
wondering what you ever thought was so much fun about
six straight hours with a receiver in your hand. You will
also become the key-master to a world of incredibly important
phone numbers. Protect this information. It is not to
be shared. Part of being a good assistant is demonstrating
that you are trustworthy, and the best way to prove your
worth is by fiercely guarding your boss’s Rolodex.
To put this oddity in perspective, know that a healthy
percentage of people in Hollywood are happier to share
their credit card number with a perfect stranger than
to give out their home phone number to their own mother.
At some point in time, irrespective of the field you are
working in, you will also be responsible for sending out
or receiving large numbers of scripts. (A cautionary note
from one who knows: COUNT THE PAGES! TOM CRUISE DOESN’T
WANT TO GUESS WHAT HAPPENS ON PAGE 32.) Scripts fall into
the same category as phone numbers; projects are kept
under wraps from development to release. Having access
to these projects will be an invaluable learning experience,
but they are not to be passed around to all of your cohorts.
And finally, in addition to the long hours and low pay,
you can expect to bump into the occasional “extraordinary”
ego along the way. At the time it will feel traumatic
and violate your every boundary, but ultimately it is
these experiences that toughen you to become the seasoned
star “whatever” that you’re destined
to become (and they also make great stories to impress
your nonindustry friends back home.)
TYPES OF JOBS
The next decision you should make at the outset of
your job-seeking adventure (and it is definitely going
to be an adventure) is what field you want to work in.
There are myriad facets of entertainment and media,
which means that, unlike most other businesses, there
is a niche for every talent. If you are newly released
from college or graduate school (i.e., you haven’t
held a full-time job for more than a few months), then
you might do well to sit down and make a list of your
best and worst (or, let’s say, less-best) attributes.
For example, let’s pretend you hate manual labor.
You’re definitely an “indoor” kind
of person. Automatically, you can rule out applying
for Production Assistant, or PA, jobs. PA jobs, while
giving a great introduction to life on a film or television
set, are labor intensive and require long hours. You
probably won’t be very happy working under those
conditions if you don’t like getting your hands
dirty.
Alternately, if you have a terrible time getting yourself
organized, if you are always late for appointments,
or if you dislike typing, then you won’t want
to interview for assistant jobs at the studios or production
companies. Being a good assistant requires fastidious
attention to detail and a natural ability to organize.
Without these qualities, you won’t be very happy
working at a desk.
Another consideration is time. If you want to write
or act, then you probably need a flexible schedule.
PA jobs and assistant jobs won’t give you flexibility,
so you might consider applying for personal assistant
work with an actor, or scouting around for freelance
“reader” jobs at various production companies
(see glossary). Conversely, if your talent involves
happily staring at a computer screen for hours on end
creating Web sites or graphic art (and if it does, I
truly admire what you do because I can barely work a
light switch), then you want to be in close proximity
to people who will recognize your abilities and quickly
put you to use. Therefore, you will want to rule out
all of the earlier suggestions and go for an assistant
job in a post-production house or at a special effects
company.
The suggestion here is to actively avoid things that
you know you can’t do happily for a year. A little
bit of up-front honesty about what you can and can’t
do will go a long way in helping you have a pleasant
first experience working in the business.
If you aren’t really sure which cog in the Hollywood
machine appeals to you yet, as most people aren’t,
I would encourage you to apply for an assistant position
at one of the studios or larger agencies. These companies
are the only two entities in Hollywood that even partially
resemble your parents’ corporate America. They
function as larger companies have to, with rules and
regulations, and an infrastructure that exists to protect
their employees. Most of these companies have an internal
“pool” of floating assistants who act as
temps until they land in the right place, which is a
great way for someone starting out to get the lay of
the land.
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